Last night it was my mom’s birthday. We had a family dinner at home. It was a great dinner. Good food and wine. I sat there thinking that we’re indeed still luckier than most.
My mom had been wanting to have a family talk, just the four of us to plan out our year and hopefully more than that. So last night was a perfect opportunity about that.
One of the things that I shared with them was my concern of what to do in the future. I’m starting out the year with great challenges ahead. There will be some big changes and I have yet to figure out what to do. This is mostly related to work. So my main concern was what to do about that.
I told them that I had a goal that within my 30s I should have come up with a new and successful business that will sustain our life for the years to come. I still don’t know how to do it but that’s my plan. I have several things I want to do now but right now it’s still a plan.
Today I prayed and instead of randomly picking out a passage in the Bible, I decided to read the gospel for today. The gospel came from Mark 6: 34-44. It narrates the miracle of the 5 loaves and 2 fishes. It shows how Jesus was able to provide for 5,000 people with the simple resources available to them. More than that, after everyone ate, there were still an abundance of food.
I guess in a way, this reading assured me that God will provide. There was a reflection after the reading (I got the gospel through a daily email my uncle forwards to us), it talks about the fact that while God/Jesus provides he asks us to take the initiative. The Apostles provided the 5 loaves and 2 fishes and Jesus did the rest.
I don’t expect God to provide while I’m sitting on my butt and doing nothing. I need to start it and God will take it from there and guide me along the way.
I’d like to share the last paragraph or the reflection.
We praise and thank You, Father God, for providing us with all the things we need in life, and for nourishing us with Your Word, and the Bread of Life, Whom we receive in the Holy Mass. Help us to share these blessings with others, we pray. Amen.
On this day, some years ago (I won’t mention how long ago) a very special girl was born. She would grow up to be a great daughter, a good friend, a loving wife and a very kind and understanding mother. She simply became a wonderful person both inside and out.
I have had a lot of blessings in my life but most of them would fail in comparison to the blessing that is my mom. She’s was the one who brought my brother and I into this world and continues to give us life with the home that she has provided us. She has been selfless and put our needs above hers. At times sacrificing her own wants and needs just so she can give us a happy life.
Her life has been filled with sacrifices for her family. Not once complaining about it because for the people she loved, nothing mattered but their happiness.
We’ve had our share of ups and downs. Trials here and there but through it all she handled everything with grace.
A great testament to how good of a person my mom is, is the fact that I have not encountered a single person who does not like her. A lot of my friends become her friends as well. I can leave my friends with her and they probably would not notice that I was gone. She is loved by all.
On this, her birthday, my wish for mom is for her continued health and happiness. I also wish that all the sacrifices she made will bear fruit. She deserves to be happy and fulfilled. May the Good Lord shower her with all the blessings.
I love you mom!
My second day of opening the bible brought me to the book of Psalms. Specifically chapters 51 onwards. These were prayers. Prayers for forgiveness, A prayer for protection from enemies, etc…
At first I couldn’t understand what the message was. The prayers were ok but the specific prayers I read did not speak to me. I continued to read and closed the bible after awhile. As I finished my prayer time it dawned on me what the message was, prayer!
I think God is telling me that you can’t have true faith without prayer and trying to understand what you believe in. It was that simple. I need to pray more.
Today was the first time I opened the bible in a long, long time. In the past few months I’ve felt that my faith was slowly eroding. Things have been happening in my life that have caused me to slowly lose faith. My belief in God was being replaced by cynicism. I believe there is a God but was he really looking after me? Out of the billions of people in the world, how could he have time for me?
From temporarily missing my treatments, to finding out that someone very important to me is gravely ill, problems with work and just other personal problems, this year was certainly filled with challenges.
I was feeling lost. My life was losing direction and meaning. I was searching or rather still searching for answers.
For some unexplainable reason, today was the day that I decided to open the bible. Perhaps out of guilt. I failed to get up in time to go to the regular mass I go to. The other mass schedules after that are just too difficult to go to for me. Maybe it was because of this that I just decided to open the bible and pray. I really don’t know.
I prayed to God and asked him to speak through whatever passage I open to. I opened the bible to Jeremiah 3, 14. The first sentence was the one that caught me. “Unfaithful people, come back, you belong to me” those few words spoke to me. In a way I felt God calling to me and saying “son, do not lose faith. Come back and I assure you that I will take care of you. Just as I have in the past.”.
I still feel my faith swaying but today I feel that I really need to go back to the giver of my strength, the one God that makes all things possible. I need to have faith in him and trust that he has a great plan in store for me.
In retrospect this is not to say that 2008 was entirely bad, in fact it had it’s great moments. I met a lot of great people this year. Several people from Genzyme, Masako, Dick, Bombit and the Philippine staff. Carmina who so unselfishly has given of her time to support my cause, the PSOD. Kris, my friend’s sister who shares the same love as I do for DLSU basketball and is now one of my favorite chatmates, countless people from Singles for Christ who has made being in community a great experience.
Apart from that somehow, someway I’ve managed to get through this year intact.
In the coming year, I need to regain my faith. I need to once again see the good side of life instead of dwelling on the bad. I’ve done it before and I know I can do it again.
Special thanks goes to Nes and my SFC group for giving out the bible kits and for always reminding me to pray. It just took me awhile.
Christmas has come and gone and 2008 is coming to a close. This year has been an interesting one. Good and bad things happened this year but the fact that I’m still here is truly a blessing. I guess that goes for all of us. Each day we’re alive is definitely a gift.
With that, I want to wish you a belated Merry Christmas and an advanced Happy New Year. I sincerely hope that your Christmas was a good one. I know times are tough and that this year might not have been as bountiful as the last. Still as long as you were able to celebrate it with your loved ones and had food on the table it’s a good Christmas.
My wish for you in the coming year, is good health and prosperity. I hope that all of us are free from sickness in the coming year. I also pray that we all will get through the economic turmoil that is coming.
Whatever happens this coming year let’s not forget to count our blessings and be thankful for what we have. Again, I wish you all a belated Merry Christmas and an advanced Happy New Year!
Instead of debating suicide laws, why isn’t more done to find as cure for the awful diseases that so ruin people’s lives, they feel the need to kill themselves? – Michael, Manchester, UK
That quote came from one of the comments left on an article that I just read. The article was titled “British TV viewers to be shown shocking moment terminally ill man ends his life at suicide clinic” and it was published on Mail Online, a British publication.
The article talks about a man named Craig Ewert who suffers from Motor Neurone Disease (MND), a group of progressive neurological disorders that affect the control over muscles. Craig Ewert has decided that he did not want to prolong his suffering as well as subject his family to his ordeal that he flew to Switzerland to die. Dignitas, a Swiss organization assists terminally ill people in performing assisted suicide. You can read the entire article here.
This story caught my attention and in a way pulled something in my heart because I know what it’s like to go through something similar, albeit not as bad.
I’ve said it before and I will say it again, there’s a sense of dignity that is lost when you can’t fend for yourself. When you rely on someone else to do normal daily activities, it does get quite taxing. Not only on yourself but on the people around you.
Being paralyzed, not having control over your body is a very difficult thing. Physically and emotionally. It’s something you don’t wish another person, even an enemy.
I’m quite lucky that at least I still have some function over other parts of my body. I can still do other things such as type on a computer, text message, eat, speak, etc… Those things still make life worth living.
I do understand what went through Mr. Ewert’s head. I would be lying if I said that I’ve never thought about just ending my life and getting this over with. However those moments are very brief and fleeting. I’ve managed to think of reasons to keep on going. But I can empathize and understand his decision. It’s not an easy life…
The question begs to be asked “why aren’t we doing much more in terms of making sure that people who are in similar situations don’t have to make that decision?”.
We as a society should do more. We should spend more on healthcare, research for medicine and treatments that will cure illnesses such as this. We should provide programs that assist families in caring for sick members, we should be more compassionate as a society that decisions such as taking your own life should not be made. Life is precious, each life is important.
Like I said, I still manage to find a reason to keep fighting. My family is my main driver in doing so. I honestly wouldn’t know what to do if I lose them, they are the biggest reason why I continue to fight. Without them I don’t think I would have gotten this far. I honestly hope I never run out of reasons to go on and keep fighting.
While I can understand one persons wish to enforce his right to die and end his suffering, it is my sincerest wish that society gives everyone enough reason and assistance to not have to exercise that right.
